By Ron Snell
So people will argue with me about this because “perfect” is in the eye of the beholder, but I’m going to tell you anyway how to make the perfect pineapple smoothie.
It’s not original with me, so I can’t take the credit for it. I learned it from a friend who had a
smoothie stand in Dominical on the Southern Pacific Coast of Costa Rica, where I would take breaks from helping people buy or sell properties to get a quick refresher. Although I don’t deserve the credit, you can still thank me, because without me you might never have known.
First, let me just say that until you’ve had fresh pineapple from very close to where it’s grown, you haven’t really had fresh pineapple. Personally, I never ate fresh pineapples in the U.S. because they always had too much acid in them and my mouth is especially sensitive to that, leaving me instantly with sores.
Of course, we could say that about lots of things down here were buying real estate in Costa Rica comes with all kinds of fresh fruits whose flavors and consistencies you simply can’t compare to what you buy in North America or Northern Europe. Eat a few bananas down here and you will never again be content with what you get “up there.” Mangos, starfruit, mangosteen, lychees, papayas—there’s a reason places like Costa Rica attract people who want to eat healthily and live active lives.
So… the perfect pineapple smoothie:
Step 1. Get a good pineapple. It won’t take long to find a favorite source that you can go back to over and over, but until then don’t worry: you’ll see options in roadside stands and grocery stores all over the place. The thing is this: buy one that is already mostly yellow. It can have tinges of green on it, but if it’s too green it might not develop the juicy sweetness you’re looking for and may remain acidy.
NOTE! Feel it all over gently, probing for soft spots and particularly rot or too much softness around the stem. If it’s already juicy/squishy there, give it a pass because that rot can already be extending up into the pineapple from the inside.
Step 2: Cut the top off, peel it, cut the hardcore out, and slice it into small pieces about the size of two or three dominos stacked one on top of the other. Keep in mind that the top, that part with the prickly leaves, is all you need to get another pineapple started, so leave it with enough meat to hold it together. Toss it onto the right patch of ground and it will send out roots, right itself, and grow into another pineapple plant.
Step 3: If your pineapple is one of the small ones that are very common around here certain times of the year, put all of one pineapple into a medium ziplock baggie and then into the freezer. If your pineapple is one of the larger ones, you can get two ziplock baggie’s worth.
Step 4: While your pineapple pieces are freezing, collect a bottle of coconut syrup (“Sirope de Coco”), a container of plain unsweetened yogurt, and milk. Stash those in the fridge.
Step 5: When you’re ready to go to heaven without having to die first, put enough water in the ziplock baggie to cover the pineapple and loosen it a bit. Put ½ Cup each of milk, coconut syrup, yogurt and the contents of your baggie into a high-speed blender and whip it smooth.
Step 6: Pour into two tall glasses, grab two fat straws and a comfortable chair in a beautiful place, and enjoy! Trust me: The only thing better than this will be the next one!